Past Simple

What happens in past simple, stays in past simple. And the general rule here, as I see it, is that past simple is used to talk about something that happened in the past and finished in the past.

"I ate a brownie yesterday."
"I watched TV"
"I was thin"

Keeping regular?
This is English and the word 'regular' should be officially erased from the rule books and then the rule books should be burned (burned or burnt?) and their authors hanged (hanged or hung? I love you past tense verbs).

Regular rules:
Many verbs can be slapped back in time by adding 'ed':
watch - watched

Unless the word already ends in a vowel, then just add 'd':
hope-hoped

The rules about doubling up the consonants are so convoluted, it's not worth teaching. And then you'll get a word like 'boxed' that'll just side-step all the rules anyway. So, just get them to remember the words in a kind of regular/irregular limbo:
shop-shopped

There are so many irregular verbs when it comes to the past tense that the term 'irregular' is something of a misnomer. In fact it's kinda regular for a verb to be irregular:
buy - bought
come - came
drink - drank

Utter madness. Just give them a list to remember and beat them when they balls it up.

Form
In positive statements we use the following:
who + past tense
eg "I farted."

But in questions, the verb goes back to present:
eg "Did I fart?"
Where's the past tense gone? It's over there in the word 'did'.

Same goes for negative sentences:
eg "I didn't fart"
Present tense of the verb again and the verb 'did' is used to help us to understand that we're talking about the  past. 'Did' here is, what's called, an 'auxiliary' verb. I know, the last time you heard the word 'auxiliary' was during Star Wars IV. Don't worry too much about it.

To be or not to be, that... is irregular.

When you're using the verb 'to be' (I am, he is, they are etc), we use were and was.

I am thin > I was thin
He is a dick > He was a dick
They are stupid > They were stupid

Question forms with 'to be' a lemon-squeezy... just switch it about:
Was I thin?
Was he a dick?
Are they stupid?

And that, my native friends, is probably enough to get you through that lesson and onto more fun things like drilling the difference between 'sheet' and 'shit'.

Should any questions arise, bat it back as homework or just keep mouthing the word 'exception' until you can think of an answer or distract them with a game of hangman.

Why?

In his book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", Stephen R Covey suggests the best way to learn something is to learn it knowing that you'll have to teach it to someone else. (Not that I read the book. I tried. But I don't read all that quickly and I got bored so I listened to the audio book instead. I can't say it made me highly effective though.)

But, anyway... I'm an 'English Teacher'. Specifically, I'm a 'Native English Teacher' in Turkey. And like most natives who've staggered into teaching after a month-long CELTA course, my level of grammar is usually lower than the students I teach.

I was a product of Thatcher's education system which meant leaving school with a knowledge of grammar that extended to nouns, verbs, adjectives and sod all else.

Oh sure, I can talk the talk but I wouldn't know a past participle if it wore a name tag and was formally introduced to me.

So, here we go. I'm going to take Steve's word for it and learn this grammar thingy. As I go, I'm going to share my learnings. I hope I don't bugger it up. But, if I do, let me know.

Enjoy the ride...